So maybe I should make up my mind.
I've written it all down on my arm and I can't understand what's holding me back,
with skill like that I should be head over heels and instead I'm withdrawn away from you
and scared of you and your complexity, profundity, the way your genius mind works.

So maybe I should get over myself
but of course that's impossible for me, emotional pit that I am
takes me months to even begin to accept what she had already forgotten
and what wasn't even an option to him in the first place.

I've breaking down nervous
with every half an hour that goes by without my phone going off
and I so desperately want everyone to want me
and I so desperately don't want you to forget about me
though I shouldn't give a damn.

I'm reeling over this new poetry
I never knew I could own,
never imagined a lyric could be dedicated to myself-
I'm not the one people do those things for, I'm always on the giving end
and always have been

I want to want you so badly
but I can't,
I'm stuck on something else that will never, ever work,
I'm purposefully ignoring your brilliance to work myself up over
somebody who doesn't care.

Why I choose these paths for myself,
I truly have no idea.